Baby Shower

I know I already posted today, but I must comment on the baby shower I went to Saturday. It was the baby shower of a woman I went to high school with and haven't seen for several years. I hadn't seen most of the guests for years, but we were all close in high school. I was the only one at the shower who wasn't married. Most had 2-3 children. Most of them got married young and didn't go to college. Keep in mind, I don't think being uneducated makes you dumb. The problem was that I couldn't find anything to talk to them about. After the 3 minute conversation about what I was doing with my life, one girl actually said to me, "I just stay home with my son, so I can tell you about my husband's life." I was floored. I had never even met her husband. Just because you have children and no longer work outside the home, you have nothing to talk about!?!?

Now, because my religion is very family focused, many women in the church stay home to care for children. Now, I think this is the noblest calling for women. However, I have no children and saw no good reason to sit and wait for a husband to give them to me. Therefore, I went to law school and am trying to improve myself. This makes me a bit of an anomaly. I also feel like people judge me because of that. They think that the reason I'm not married is because I've made my career a bigger priority than having a family. That's not the case at all, but people just cannot understand why I'm not married at the ripe age of 27. There's really no solution to this problem. I just needed to send it out into the universe and ask all the women who are raising children to continue to develop themselves. I know that my experience at the baby shower does not represent all the mothers of the world, but for those who have nothing to talk about besides their husband's lives, PLEASE don't believe that. You have worth and value to society. You have intelligence and something to add! Also, please don't assume that I don't want a family just because I don't have one yet.

Jail

So I went to jail yesterday. Well, I suppose I went to "a" jail yesterday. It was a very interesting experience. I have a friend in jail for 2 counts of probation violation. I don't know what exactly he did except that he lied to his PO about where he had been. His PO is recommending 10 years incarceration. When he told me about the 10 years possibility, I was pretty much speechless.

This whole experience has been pretty hard for me internally. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about it or what I'm supposed to do. What he is on probation for is revolting. The thing is...I didn't know about it until we had been friends for quite a while. At the point that he told me, he had already been convicted, sentenced, had served his time, and had been out for a couple years. He's the kind of guy that is at church every Sunday and always helping. He's always the one setting up or stacking chairs or doing dishes after church activities. He was going to counseling and had been doing so well for so long. I'm so mad at him! Why did he have to go and screw it all up?

So I was telling a friend "TW" (who doesn't know jailbird) about it the other day. He made me feel really bad about my friendship with jailbird. He made me feel like I was betraying the world by caring about him. He said my friendship with him condoned his past behavior. So my question is this...Who deserves to be loved? What mistakes preclude you from being cared about? And who am I to make that choice? Also, is it really promoting societal good to ostracize people like him?

Well, the day after I had the conversation with TW, I went to the LDS Relief Society General Broadcast. The whole meeting was on charity and being an instrument in the hands of God. So this is the conclusion I came to...

It is the place of all of us to judge. Not to judge people, but to judge whether their influence in our lives is good or whether their behavior should be patterned. However, it is not our place to punish. That is left up to the justice system and God. What God expects of each of us is to love each other and build each other up. Jailbird has made some very serious mistakes in his life, but he has not surrendered his place as a son of God. If I make mistakes, Christ's love for me does not condone my mistakes, but encourages me to become better. Has Christ abandoned jailbird because of his mistakes? NO. If I am to pattern my life after Christ, then why should I abandon KC now? Hopefully my friendship will improve his life, so why should I not offer it to him?

So what I have to say to TW is...while I understand why you have the feelings you do, I politely decline to take your advice and hope that as I go through this life, continuing to make mistakes, that others will continue to love me.

The new man in my life!

I have a new man in my life and I am in love! He's only 12 weeks old though...and he's a puppy. His name is C.J. (which stands for Chief Justice). I just thought Chief Justice Miller had a good ring to it. He is a Shih Tzu-Terrier mix. He weighs 4 pounds right now and I'm hoping he doesn't grow much. He loves to sleep, play and cuddle. He loves to hang out with me and follows me around. What do I need a boyfriend for anyway? I now have a puppy!