Hearing results

There were six people at the hearing to support jailbird. I think it made him feel good. If it were me, I don't know that I would want anyone there. I would not want anyone seeing me walk into a courtroom in a striped outfit chained to 20 other inmates. It was hard to see him.

So the result of the hearing was...it was postponed again, until November 10th. I spoke with his attorney and she told me the reason she requested a postponement was because she had requested a mitigation specialist meet with him and they denied the claim. She needed to postpone it so she could act as his mitigation specialist.

It puts him in jail for another 3 weeks, but it may help his sentence be lower. So I will continue my weekly jail visits for now.

Hearing tomorrow

So Jailbird's hearing is tomorrow. Through this whole thing, I've been pretty unemotional. I've tried to be supportive, I visit once a week and have written a couple letters, but I haven't really felt anything. I'm not sure why. I'm also not sure why I've started to feel today. I've been really sad and a little scared. What if I'm in the court room tomorrow and I have to hear that he will spend the next 10 years of his life in jail? I don't think I'll handle that very well. I feel like I'm losing a friend. I know he'll always be my friend, but he's leaving and I'm sad. I hope he's not really leaving, but I'm kind of preparing for the worst.

Also, I have to call his mom as soon as they sentence him and tell her. How horrible is that. I'm really not looking forward to that conversation. Why me? Wow, that's selfish. I'm concerned about me having to tell her rather than how hard that must be for her...oh, and my friend who might be spending a good chunk of his life in prison. I wish I were a better person...

Jail take 2

When TW read my Jail post, he said he felt misrepresented. He clarified what he meant so I need to pass that on. He thinks that I should cut ties with jailbird because I am rewarding his bad behavior. Theoretically, the threat of the absence of my friendship would motivate him not to make bad decisions in the future. I don't actually agree with TW that I could possibly have that kind of influence. Nevertheless, that is what TW meant.

Need a new blog

To all those out there who think it's a good idea to give your blog address to people that you don't want knowing your innermost thoughts (mostly about your love life), DON'T DO IT! I've wanted to write so much lately about several people, but I realized I gave my address to some of the very people I don't want reading it! Sometimes I wonder how I've gotten this far in life. So it looks like I'm going to have to start another secret blog. I'll still update this blog now and again, but not about the guys I'm interested in or dating! If you think you deserve to know the new blog address, then you should already have my e-mail address or phone number and can ask me for it.